Obstacles. You can observe or listen to people intimately or casually and, if you’re able to remove yourself from the conversation, you’ll find that a lot of what passes for talking is really a lot of complaining and moaning. People talk about where they are and why they can’t be happy, why they can’t have the life they want – and the reason is always something or someone else. Some circumstance. Life is something that is done to them.
Sometimes life truly sucks. Big mistakes, huge regrets, devastation, sickness, misfortune, and death are part of life. We are not always in control of what happens, and sometimes what happens is really bad. There are two big things we must learn to do: 1) Separate the Really Bad from the unpleasant, because they are very different. A little perspective can be really powerful. 2) While it is important to grieve, and OK to be afraid sometimes, at a certain point we have to get past our challenges, and viewing them as opportunities to fix gaps, improve, focus on what matters or just becoming a little more resilient can teach us to welcome challenges rather than fear, bemoan or dwell on them. This is where most people get stuck – in ‘poor me’ land.
If you look for reasons why you can’t be successful – or even why you can’t be just happy – you’re sure to find them. Obstacles are not your problem. And in any case, obstacles are coming whether you want them to or not. People will hurt you or cheat you, love and life comes and goes. Your ability to survive challenges is 100% rooted in how you view them.